lizards have personalities

wewereskeletons:

petethepiratesquid:

Because screamo bands that whine about girls dumping them can be feminists too guys!

I love how punk has changed and contorted into this stupid selfish thing. Hell, emotional hardcore is my life, been since I first caught Jimmy Eat World on tv in seventh grade, hell, my senior quote is a Saetia…

So I figured I’d just ignore this because, well, the internet is fucking dumb, and in general it wasn’t worthy of further attention. It all seemed ridiculous enough for people to sort of get it. But enough people have been asking questions about it so I figured that I had to explain some shit. First of all, this is Rafael, and while I think that the rest of the band may agree with my points, they probably wouldn’t agree with how I’m saying it yada yada yada. So this is me, not “the band.”

So, for those of you wondering, this weird shit is all from me posting a status on the band facebook that was a mix of sincere and tongue in cheek: “REAL MEN both dismiss and condemn gender normative stereotypes and other constructs put forth by the dominant ideology that serve to further heighten oppression.” Hopefully that bears no further explanation. Anyway, kid says that I “probably got pussy whipped into writing [that].” I respond with, “ughhhhhhhhhhh shut up”, a troll further shakes things up, and this kid calls us tryhards and a “naive bucket of fags”. Congratulations, you’re on the verge of becoming a meme.

So here’s the thing. This whole big to-do is indicative of a bigger issue we have in our scene- the sheer amount of privileged and entitled babies that can’t bear to have their ignorance challenged or have anyone say anything “mean” to them. I tried to avoid the situation  while not letting the “pussy whipped” comment completely slide by just saying “shut up” in a goofy way, and shit explodes. A fairly innocuous status and comment receives an assymetric and quite frankly, fucking weird response. The fact that it warranted a further tumblr post blows my mind. Now, you might be wondering, why did I feel the need to say anything in the first place? Why can’t we, like, say what we want, man?

Because sexism and homophobia is still an issue, one so pervasive that it continues to perpetuate itself through language. I care less that it’s “offensive” and more that calling people fags or pussy-whipped is in itself oppressive. And the reason why I banned the kid and would kick him out of a show i’m running (instead of punching him in the face, which is apparently more okay?) is because I’m fairly adamant about constructing a “Safe Space” at our shows and in our online spaces. Your “right” to express your opinion about people being fags is intruding on people’s rights to not feel alienated. For ME, punk is a way for people to build an inclusive community, and to have that we would have to actively resist the homophobic, racist, sexist, etc social dynamics that pervade society. Being inclusive doesn’t stop at just letting people in the door or telling your black friends to go to the show. Our scene is dominated by white straight males who, given their state of privilege in society, might have behaviors that are “okay” for them, but alienating for others. And that includes hateful speech, jokes, etc. that serve to make people feel unwelcome at shows. But hey, don’t take my word for it! Educate yourself here (maybe skip down to a paragraph or two before the pink font.), here, and here. They explain it far better than I could.

And sorry dude, NOBODY (including myself) has a monopoly over the definition of punk and it’s definitely not limited to your right to say whatever the hell you want. From my experience, all you can say about “Punk” is that its meaning lies in the eye of the beholder. Some will argue that punk is all about “doing whatever the hell you want” and for others it’s about building a community. For some, it’s just fucking music. And you know what? They’re all right. And for all of its faults, I think that’s a good thing. Hell, the great part about DIY is the Y part- in the end, it’s up to you, the individual to make your own decisions. So when you act like an alienating asshole at a show I’m booking or on our facebook page, I reserve the right to have a problem with it and deal with it how I choose. And either way, punk cred doesn’t absolve you from being sexist. And neither does having an apparently close relationship with women. There’s a common and troubling fallacy that only big, scary monsters (sorry BSM) are sexist or can be oppressive. But the fact is that it’s so pervasive that “normal” people, hell, most everyone, falls victim to it. And we need to realize that if we’re going to change ourselves to have a better community and hopefully, society.

So guys, I know you’ve never been in a fight. No one’s ever called you out for much anything, you can be an celebrity because of enough mouse clicks, and you’ve always had a stable of people to validate your every worry. But there’s probably going to be a time where someone, a marginalized person, even, will take issue with something your saying or doing. Instead of saying, “Fuck off, I’ll do what I want!”, stop for a second and consider what they’re saying and their perspective in relation to your actions. They have a different life experience than you, so they’ll see things not only differently, but perhaps with more clarity or wisdom. Different doesn’t automatically mean wrong. You’re not going to be right all the time, so be willing to take things people say to heart and take some time to think and have some self-reflection. It’s not about being PC, it’s about a privilege that you were born with without ever asking for it. Others were born at a disadvantage without asking for it. And yeah, that sucks. But we’re not trying to make you feel guilty, we’re trying to make you be aware of it and hopefully do something about it.

Rafael is the man.